oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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