She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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