I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
