he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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