i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
