im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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