Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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