Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
