If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
