Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
whose ass print is on the piano?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
