love makes seman taste better
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
