ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
