We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
