i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you would pick up someone in the library
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
