she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We don't watch enough power rangers
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
whose parrot is this?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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