Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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