This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
