This show inspires me to have sex in space
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
