Just took my morning after pill in the library
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
