Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
