No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
