someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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