literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
