So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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