Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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