I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
