Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Im part way to drunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
