...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
