I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dear god my vagina.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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