My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
