I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
