I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
