went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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