Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
