shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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