There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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