We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
