Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
