i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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