I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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