You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
