Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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