Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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