i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
