You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
