I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
