i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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