Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
