you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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