In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji