Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?

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  (314): Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen? http://tfl.nu/sbh1
  Replies (89) Good night (867) Bad night (12406)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me

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  (610): we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me http://tfl.nu/jltn
  Replies (49) Good night (677) Bad night (6564)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.

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  (505): My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help. http://tfl.nu/hde2
  Replies (18) Good night (3371) Bad night (1182)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

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  (847): Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over? (312): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/ubhn
  Replies (18) Good night (4486) Bad night (1149)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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  (479): Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes. http://tfl.nu/b7x1
  Replies (22) Good night (1370) Bad night (659)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco

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  (850): My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco http://tfl.nu/szsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1391) Bad night (400)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.

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  (647): Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor. http://tfl.nu/ry4y
  Replies (8) Good night (1373) Bad night (407)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?

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  (830): I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy? http://tfl.nu/wl4s
  Replies (13) Good night (2220) Bad night (454)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.

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  (425): It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night. http://tfl.nu/z2ri
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (269)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!

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  (210): Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!! http://tfl.nu/6efz
  Replies (10) Good night (438) Bad night (1020)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides

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  (724): I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides http://tfl.nu/36h7
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (282)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.

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  (614): You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning. http://tfl.nu/s4j6
  Replies (14) Good night (1411) Bad night (564)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.

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  (202): Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way. http://tfl.nu/t0k2
  Replies (8) Good night (271) Bad night (1436)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  $450 apparently whoopwhoop

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  (412): How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in? (412): $450 apparently whoopwhoop http://tfl.nu/9hqx
  Replies (6) Good night (220) Bad night (464)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman

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  (+44): Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman http://tfl.nu/09hv
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (170)

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