I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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