Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance http://tfl.nu/1kat
  Replies (22) Good night (3684) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass http://tfl.nu/zsw3
  Replies (25) Good night (1288) Bad night (3346)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them http://tfl.nu/2pf7
  Replies (2) Good night (4632) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life. http://tfl.nu/zt1o
  Replies (21) Good night (2344) Bad night (4816)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch. http://tfl.nu/jvw8
  Replies (22) Good night (1070) Bad night (8029)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth http://tfl.nu/ncht
  Replies (13) Good night (1217) Bad night (3214)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall http://tfl.nu/2grv
  Replies (10) Good night (2715) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7
  Replies (16) Good night (4055) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/yova
  Replies (1) Good night (1772) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body. http://tfl.nu/3ysy
  Replies (7) Good night (1953) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies. http://tfl.nu/zmgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1420) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out. http://tfl.nu/df2n
  Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help. http://tfl.nu/9s63
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Are you setting a date to bone me?

  (530): View more from California

  Are you accepting?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Are you setting a date to bone me? (530): Are you accepting? http://tfl.nu/jd32
  Replies (5) Good night (1394) Bad night (352)

Randomize