But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.