1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
