Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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