Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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