I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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