you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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