there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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