nut hugger
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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