if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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