i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
